WhenIWasHere.org

The Short Answer

A Dignity Review is a simplified, patient-led version of Dignity Therapy, an evidence-based practice used in oncology to reduce distress and anxiety. By recording specific memories, values, and guidance during active treatment, patients can maintain a sense of control and “continuity of self.” Using a digital vault like WhenIWasHere.org allows these reviews to be captured in high-definition video and delivered to loved ones at future milestones, such as a child’s wedding or graduation.

Moving Beyond “End-of-Life” to “Life-and-Living”

In the clinical world, “legacy work” is often introduced only when a patient enters hospice. However, in 2026, healthcare providers are increasingly recognizing the power of starting earlier. For those navigating a diagnosis or undergoing treatment, the greatest source of stress is often the fear of what is left unsaid to children and grandchildren.

A Dignity Review reframes the conversation. It isn’t about saying goodbye; it’s about ensuring your presence is felt in the future, providing an “emotional insurance policy” for your family.

4 Reasons to Start Your Review During Treatment

Clinical research shows that engaging in legacy work during active treatment offers immediate psychological benefits:

Reduces “Scanxiety”: Focusing on your values and your family’s future provides a meaningful distraction from medical uncertainty.
Restores Agency: While you cannot control a diagnosis, you can control your narrative and how you are remembered.
Continuity of Self: It allows you to document your strength and personality while you are feeling empowered, rather than waiting until you are fatigued.
Healing for Caregivers: Families of patients who complete legacy projects often report a more peaceful grieving process and find lasting comfort in hearing their loved one’s actual voice.

The Framework: 7 Questions to Guide Your Message

If you feel “writer’s block” when looking at a blank screen, use these evidence-based prompts developed from the Dignity Therapy model to structure your message, video or voice message:

Your Roles

“What are the most important roles you have played in life (parent, grandparent, teacher, friend)? What did those roles teach you?”

Your Pride

“What are you most proud of in your life? What do you want your children to remember most about your character?”

The Unspoken

“Are there particular things you believe still need to be said to your family, or things you want to take the time to say once again?”

Future Hopes

“What are your specific dreams for your children or grandchildren? What kind of person do you hope they become?”

Life Lessons

“What has life taught you about resilience, forgiveness, or love that you want to pass down?”

A Simple Blessing

“What is one simple message of pride you want them to hear on a random Tuesday ten years from now?”

The Essence

“What is the one family story that always makes us laugh? Record yourself telling it today.”

Why a Digital Vault is Essential for Oncology Families

Standard email and social media are too fragile for such a legacy. WhenIWasHere.org offers a specialized architecture for families:

500MB High-Definition Capacity: Unlike email (capped at 25MB), our vault allows for 10-minute HD videos. Your family needs to see your expressions and hear your real laugh, not a grainy file or an AI-generated ghost.
Milestone Logic: You don’t need to know the date of your daughter’s wedding today. You can schedule your message for a “Milestone,” and our system via your Authorized Person, will deliver it only when that day arrives.
Encrypted Privacy: Your words are a private sanctuary. Authorized Persons can help manage your account’s logistics but can never see the content of your messages.